Get all 11 Justice Cow releases available on Bandcamp and save 10%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of my dad died, Read the Room, Adventure Song (feat. Kit Orion), Unrelenting, Waiting for a Haunting ft. Tyler Brasch, underglam, Catastrophic (UGLY Lydian), Open the Phone and Talk on the Phone With You, and 3 more.
1. |
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I loved you
I mean, I still love you
Even when you got confused
Even when you got mean
I thought I’d cut through
Bring you back with reason
And practicality
I thought you’d listen to me
When I said “dad,
I think you need some help
You might be overwhelmed
But we’re here to help
You heal”
Now I miss you
And the shape you left
In the atmosphere
What a nest
Your beating heart could be
Now I look for you
In the corners of my room
Wait for hairs to stand on end
Waiting for a haunting
To hear you say “Jessie,
I think you need some help
You might be overwhelmed
But I’m here to help
You heal”
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2. |
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Fistfuls of the fish bowls
and the slicing spines
and the grinding bones
you can look at it
and see nothing
accident on the interstate
there’s a body dent
in my license plate
there’s a churning sticky darkness to living
unrelenting
unrelenting
chunked up like some shark meat
it’s a missing toe in my memory
should be right here where I left it
Guttural when the kidneys go
whale eyed when the bloodwork shows
all we all had known all along
unrelenting
It’s unrelenting
unrelenting
unrelenting
history like a bath of blood
snuff films in my grandma‘s phone
I got ivory for every occasion
suck it up in my growing gut
I’m an icon for the gushy stuff
put your teeth to the concrete
laugh on like an animal
in the TV light with your ear torn
it’s the alcohol coursing through you
it’s the fitted sheet your scabs grew into
it’s the numbness that devoured you
It’s unrelenting
unrelenting
It’s unrelenting
unrelenting
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3. |
Cold Hard Ground
03:36
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Why did you wait so long
To pull your shoot
Back when your back was strong
And you could rebuild you
Like our treehouse
Up and off
The cold hard ground
Your choices made a fist
Led me by the scruff
I foraged for sustenance
In the ashes of your trust
Can I burrow like the birds
In the cold hard ground
Sun washed you sit with me
Kind swimming through your face
Burnt hands and hollow cheeks
Lost in the master fade
Can you hear me
Where you lie
In the cold hard ground
I just want to say please wait to go
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4. |
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The first time I drove
Was to pick up my brother
From the library
Because you had been drinking
And Tyler was waiting
I remember you flirting
With all of the servers
And the female clerks
Yeah you could make them giggle
While you sent back your dinner
And I’d be so embarrassed
That you couldn’t hold it together
Read the room
Read the room
You drove us to the woods
To take turns shooting at our garbage
Yeah, we were so careful
That one of us is deaf in one ear
You told us lots of truth
But you loved a good story
Like how we might be royalty
Just wait till your 18th birthday
And I’d be so embarrassed
If my words were causing damage
Read the room
Read the room
Read the room
Read the room
The last time that we spoke
Didn’t know you had days left
Almost automatic
I love you’s almost habit
Was planning when I’d see you next
At the airport or a hospital
But we didn’t get there
And I didn’t get to share
My time
With you
Watching grey days
Grow blue
Watching your soul grow back
Petting my dog on your lap
Hearing your laugh
Being my dad
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5. |
Like Mars
02:41
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Snow in my sock
Pink in my cheek
Higher the laugh
Higher the peak
Harder the fall back down
Thinking of you in physical form
Warmer the skin
Warmer the sun
Is it cold where you are?
Like Mars
Do you feel far away?
Like a star
Can you feel anything?
Sweat on my brow
The hoot of an owl
Summery sun simmering now
Orange and red like love
Sandpaper tongue
Weird to be home
I hear your fist bang on the wall
Are you still mad?
Like Mars
Do you feel far away?
Like a star
Can you feel anything?
Now you
Don’t have to be anything you don’t wanna be
Don’t have to need anything you don’t want to need
Don’t have to feel anything at all
Like Mars
Like a star
As you are
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6. |
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I sink below
To someone else’s body
I scour the dirt
To absorb their story
Of floods and love
It’s just me and my eyes
Finding each other
When the glass goes black
And the credits roll over
The floods and love
The bullets and blood
I am not here
Being a person
I disappear
into a mountain
I shuffle back
To my own body
The whirlwinds blow
And I feel nothing
But floods and love
The bullets and the blood
The getting at all
But wanting none
I am not here
Being a person
I disappear into a mountain
But not to fear
Summer’s coming
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7. |
Just Like You
03:55
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Didn’t dream aloud till you showed me how
To see a rock for a crystal
And when the wind was howling out
Knew where you kept your pistol
We got strong chins
To hold big grins
And see the good
What I would do
To be like you
Didn’t joke around till you showed me how
To make them wait for the punchline
And when a loss was mountainous
You taught us how to show up
We got strong chins
We do hard things
Sometimes we bruise
What I would do
To be like you
Didn’t play a note till you showed me how
To make mom smile in the other room
And when you’d jog you show us around
Feeling the tough getting easier
We got strong chins
And we dream big
Until they’re true
I’m just like you
I wish you knew
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8. |
Ruminations
05:31
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I’m
Doing
Fine
Why
Do you
Keep prying
It’s my life
And I do what I like
My
Daughter
You’ve
Gotten
So
Judgmental
It’s my life
And I do what I like
Till the shadows come
And they come for blood
Chew little bits of you off
Till you’re gone
All I’m left with are my ruminations
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9. |
Send My Love
04:02
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When you head out there
Tell him I miss him
And hold his hand
He will need people to work his limbs for him
He will want the end
But oh he just needed reminding
Of your love
Needed it close enough to know
It’s still there
When you said good night
He asked to be upright
But he fell in the night
He wanted changes
To reverse the stages
But the damage was
All we could do was
Send our love
But I didn’t
I was too messed up
So now I believe I’ll
Send my love
Even if it turns to vapor
You get my love
Even if it doesn’t matter
Here’s my love
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10. |
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Listen to the sound of the rain
While we’re safe and dry inside
We had a close call today
On those green river rapids
Almost tore off our heads
Took your cell phone and sandwich
And my heart
Couldn’t be more sure
That adventure
Keeps us alive
Look how the strength of the wind
Shaped these Oregon sand dunes
It slipped into night on our way
And we tumbled under full moon
While we’re candy and pizza fueled
Leaving always too soon
And my heart
Couldn’t be more sure
That adventure
Keeps us alive
And I’ll think of you that way
Singing and playing
Hiking and driving
Telling a story
Always with time for me
And my heart
Couldn’t be more sure
That adventure
Keeps us alive
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Justice Cow Boston, Massachusetts
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